Grandma's Birthday

*zHigUo + xiNhUi = kUkU & LaLa *

Yesterday we celebrated grandma's birthday.. This year, celebration was a bit quieter as compared to previous year... Just the usual buffet, and Mama bought the same mango cake she always orders....

Usually we would celebrate in the living room, with everybody gathering around grandpa and grandma, happily singing the birthday song... this year was a little different.. As grandma have difficulty moving around, we brought the cake into her room, right beside her bed to sing the birthday song for her...

I can see everyone is glad to be able to celebrate grandma's 77th birthday, however, while singing the birthday song, I just couldn't help having the thoughts of celebrating grandma's birthday for the last time. I didn't want to have such thoughts, but mama kept reminding us, to be prepared that it could be grandma's last birthday....

I held my tears back while singing the birthday song, but from the corner of my eyes I could see 3rd Aunt quietly leaving to her own room to cry... sometimes I really hate myself... why didn't I spend more time with grandma in the past, and blame myself for working so much that I missed a couple of grandma's birthday for the past years.... Now I can only spend that much time with grandma... praying and hoping everyday will pass by, with grandma still with us...