So much to think, so much to see, so much to do~

*zHigUo + xiNhUi = kUkU & LaLa *

It was indeed a lazing nua day for both Baby and I yesterday. Other than Baby going for 2 of his appointments in the morning, and going to Kovan to ta bao Laksa, ice jelly cocktail and buy mangos in the evening, we were both practically at home for the whole day watching tv, playing games, and taking naps.

I guess I was too tired after a week of hectic work and late night sleep. I thought by staying at home to rest, it would help me recuperate and have more energy for the new week ahead. However, I guess because I was watching tv for the whole day, my eyes were having this burning sensation. The kind of burning sensation I usually get when I don't get enough sleep or stare at the computer for too long during work. So I told myself I should get some sleep in the afternoon. It was like about 5pm when all of us at home (Fat Siong, Small Siong, Baby and me) were having our afternoon nappy time. I was really tired, the kind of tired that allows me to fall asleep like 10mins after lying down.

Yet, I just couldn't fall asleep at all, especially when Baby was sleeping so soundly and taking up like 3/4 of my bed. I couldn't bare to wake him up and ask him to shift so that I can sleep beside him, so I decided to go to my parents' room and occupy the queen sized bed all by myself. wahahaha!

Lying down on the bed, I shut my eyes tight and asked myself to relax, but my mind just couldn't rest. I always have this problem of letting my thoughts and imagination run wild. I guess its due to the fact that I'm a Pisces, and one main chracteristic of a typical Pisces is being imaginative. We usually run through our thoughts in our mind instead of penning down on a piece of paper or sharing with others. From a very simple situation, I can think of so many different types of outcome. Sometimes very practical, sometimes very irrational, and sometimes just totally out of our mind~ Although I have to admit, sometimes my great inspirations and ideas were derived from my daily "imagination session".

This characteristic has been accompanying me, or should I say pestering me since the age I was able to think, read, talk and write. But it went into a deeper space of infinity when I moved on into the adult stage of my life. Every night before sleeping, no matter how tired I am, my mind would still take a roller coaster ride before it manages to slow down and rest. Sometimes, or should I say often, it gets bad, just like yesterday, when my mind just couldn't stop thinking even though I'm so tired and just want to get some sleep. Thoughts just runs through and repeat itself over and over again, and I don't have the ability to stop my mind from thinking.

This is why I often get insomnia in the nights, and it gets so nerve wracking that I just hope that someone will hit me hard on the head and let me faint to sleep. But that is quite impossible, so I'll just struggle throughout the night, trying to close my eyes most of the time to let them rest because I knew I'll most probably be awake all night. Even if I manage to fall asleep, I will either have long running strange or stupid dreams throughout the night, or wake up to a really bad nightmare in the middle of the night, and sleeping again to only continue the unfinished nigtmare~

The situation was the same yesterday when I wanted to take my nap, and I ended up lying on my parents' bed awake, with my eyes closed for over 1 hour. When I "woke" up, my head was spinning and the burning sensation got slightly worst. There was nothing I could do at that moment, just to pray hard that hope that I'll sleep well in the night.

I really envy people who could just fall sleep in an instant, for example, my very own Baby. He falls asleep in less than 5 minutes, and sometimes even when I'm still talking to him. I realized after starting to work, one won't have that much time to rest because there is always "sian, tomorrow still have to work" kind of day ahead of us. I start to miss those good old days when I was still schooling and everyday after school, I can go home and have a great nap in the afternoon.

Unfortunately, one can only move on ahead, and not backwards. Sometimes I use some medication like relaxing pills or less addictive sleeping pills prescribed by my doctor to help me sleep. I know its not advisable, but I don't do that often.. Heez~

What to do.... I really need some sleep~