Life so unpredictable~

*zHigUo + xiNhUi = kUkU & LaLa *

It has been a rather busy and sicky week for me... Took mc on Fri and Sat... Sunday was off, so practically whole weekend not working... I shall not elaborate further details of my happenings for the past week as my memory is failing me....

Mama told me the doctors say grandma's cancer cells are spreading uncontrollably... and that grandma only had the most 3 more months to live... My heart soured as I found out, and grandma has been admitted to Tan Tock Seng again as her body was swollen a few days back, and she had fever.

We went to visit grandma yesterday and she was having fever again. The doctor had to bathe her to cool down the temperature in her body.. Then they had to take some blood from her to do some testing... the doctors took like about an hour before managing to eject blood from grandma.... When we saw her lying on the bed sub-conciously, our hearts all soured... Poor grandma..... so weak and thin liao they still have to eject blood from her....

When the doctors are finally done, we got to see grandma..... She was lying on the bed asleep.. then mama called out for her, and her eyes open and close and open.... she was sub-concious... when I spoke to grandma, I couldn't help but shed tears... because despite her weak condition, grandma still took the effort to smile to us and ask if we have eaten... now even typing out my feelings makes me want to cry again...

I can see that Mama has been very worried all these period, and she is constantly frightened by early morning or late night calls as she is afraid that the call would bring bad news. Mama is the type that holds back her feelings until she finally cannot take it. I know there were several occasions that she wanted to cry, but she held back. So I'm doing my part to cheer her up and not cry in front of her.

Its a torture to see your loved ones suffer in pain when theres nothing you could do to help ease it. We could only do our part by constantly showering care and concern to help them forget the pain for that very moment. We would really loved to spend more time by grandma's side but I know our presence would only cause her to be deprived from rest as she constantly have to open her eyes and look at us.. We are all very scared of what's going to happen every tomorrow, because we all know that anytime, grandma might just leave us.

I shall end my blog for today as the more I type, the more I cry........